"I just want a FU**ING QUOTE!!!!"
For years the genetic mutation of David Banner was contributed to some kind of gamma-ray mix up.
However, I can exclusively reveal that the real reason David Banner turns into ‘The Hulk’ is the pure frustration and anger caused by…
Automated Telephone Answering Systems!!
.
Seriously, if you own a business and you have one, why?
Press ONE for… We just like to ruin your day.
Press TWO for… We don’t think you’re worthy of human contact.
Press THREE for… Yikes! You might want to complain about something!
Press FOUR for… Please don’t buy anything off us (we do have other stuff to do you know).
Press FIVE for… We like giving you an option for anything but the reason for your call.
Press SIX for… We like sending you up our garden-path (you know, the one that leads to the bottomless telephonic abyss).
Press SEVEN for… Our system was installed by Cyberdyne Systems, we have been taken over by SkyNet and are about to become self-aware. Judgement Day is now here. DUM-DUM DUM DUM DUR DUM!!!
Why do you want to make it an unpleasant experience for people to contact you?
These systems serve no purpose whatsoever. They do not help your business. They do not save you money.
I repeat, they do not save you money – the slick-dick salesman may have convinced you it’s cheaper than human beings, but I bet he didn’t tell you how many potential customers you’d lose because it’s now just too damn frustrating to speak to you! (if we ever can!)
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
So true! I usually put the phone down when I get that sort of pre recorded menu.
Sue
Right on the button, mate!!
Just finished connecting to Gravitational Marketing.com and they have made exactly this point except perhaps that most of these numbers may be like 0845 numbers which earn the company money anyway so perhaps they just dont give a damn